Robbed Innocence

I watch him as he stands there head raised high like the platform he stands on. In him I see the fire of hell, the cries of angles, the smile of the devil, and the smirk in the smile of Satan. When he speaks he deserves the title of a professor, when he acts you wonder how he got his P.H.D. To the multitude of students diligently listening to him wisdom is what they find in his words.

However, overweening hatred flows through me. I feel the pain; I hear his groans of pleasure and mine of torment. I am envisioned by his daring move in that office where I had gone to retrieve what I knew was right and justice; my missing marks in ETH 101. I got an injustice instead…

Prof Tindinyo, an honorable man indeed. It was my right to go after my missing marks, having sat for the exam as a freshman although the older students found pleasure in calling us”Freshaz”. Why deny? We were fresh, the new babes in campus.

We bore all that defines freshness; doing things I now find weird, missing lessons while trying to find lecture halls, daily visitation to the notice board while hardly finding anything new, and oh! The cold weather that left many pregnant. All the while I never thought it would come with physical sexual assault…it really did.

His words bring me back to the present. “We not only fail because we choose to, but because we lack the will to act. You must find ways of doing things you think you can’t do…” Prof. Tindinyo continued with his speech which sounded inane to me. Does that justify his actions and make him forget his codes of ethics while acting according to his will; the will of the flesh? Maybe he should have told his victims this before inspiring us to chase our rights.

“The ultimate goal of human life is happiness. Think rationally as you act. Man should not be used as a means to an end but rather as an end to a means…” my ears stand erect to capture this point while my robbed innocence judges him again. Like so many of his kind, he is a great orator and a man with a smooth mouth. My legs itch to stand and shut him down. At the same time the central part of my body burned with pain. The insult…it still hurt.

I blinked severally to block the wanting tears but it only brought back the memories of that scary day. Having just joined my second year in campus the excitement of getting my first year results was so intense. I passed well as expected but got a missing mark in one ethics course. My duty was to find them. Professor Tindinyo was the head of Ethics department. Anxiously I headed to his office and joined the queue that needed his help too. Finally, I got into his office with my impatience at its peak.

On the realization that I was the last student on the queue he agreed to serve me although it was time for his lunch-break. I knew the rumor about him having venustraphobia so I felt rather safe. We used to make fun of him, wondering how a man can have a fear of beautiful women. “How can I help this beautiful queen?” he said drily. Mmh!

“You must be a student from one of my classes.” “Yes sir. I am missing my marks for ETH101 …”

I stopped in my tracks as he interrupted. “Missing?” he asked. “Yes sir. I would like you to…”I picked up. “Give and take. That is how it works sweetheart” he said as he shushed me down moving towards me.

WHAT! Instinctively I headed for the door. LOCKED! He must have locked it earlier. How had that escaped my eye? He smiled satisfied with himself.

My eyes roamed around for an escape route. None was. I was trapped. I was left breathless by the grasp of his claws on me. I fought back, screamed, scratched, but with his massive hand on my mouth, I was his chick and he, my eagle. He pushed me to the wall and fumbled for a handkerchief in his pockets which he placed on my nose. It was damp and had a weird smell. As I took a breathe, I felt weak and my fragile body went under.

In that fuzzy state I felt my dress being lifted up, heard the tear of my pants. I heard the click of his belt as he opened it and the zip of his trousers as they came off. I closed my eyes to fight the pain and fear.

His manhood forced its way and broke my innocent womanhood. I tried moving but I was limb. I couldn’t do anything with my drugged self. I was helpless.

“Ahhh! A virgin!” he whispered while he thrust deeper. The pain in my heart preceded that in my womanhood. To lose my virginity through rape! Worse still with a man who had a secret affair with my widowed mother. I heard his groans of pleasure and mine of torment. He moved up and down, faster rhythmical to my painful groans that cut deep in my whole self…

I came back to my senses when I heard my mother’s name. He was introducing her as his fiancée while wounding up his speech. With my acceptance they would get married. Mama asked her daughter to stand and say hello to the crowd.

I hesitated. The hall went silent. Fresh pain flooded my womanhood. Mama didn’t know of my ordeal with the so called lover. This time my tears flowed to my tummy as I finally stood. Prof Tindinyo turned pale, shock written all over him. Mmmh! So he didn’t know. The girl he had raped was his fiancée’s daughter. He will pay for all my nightmares. With the evidence I had reserved he will rot in jail.

“Hypocrisy is an attribute that vice pays virtue. It is only silly sleep who weep and sleep. Fight for your rights.” I said as every one applauded. His eyes met mine and I knew I had hit the nail on the head. I have a new mission and when I will be done I will hear his groans of torture and mine of pleasure.

#girlchildrights #saynotorape

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